Just Funny Jokes, Really

This, actually:

• Probably won't be that amusing for you;
• Requires some amount of background knowledge;
• May get me into some trouble here. Who am I kidding? No one reads this.

But here we go. So, I was recently reminded of the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, specifically of the drama on the US men's speed skating team. More specifically, between Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick. If you're not quite able to remember this, you may want to refresh your memory. So, basically, you have to remember that there was controversy regarding the men's team pursuit. You also have to remember Joey Cheek, who was also there in Turin and who kind of went Vecepia on the rest of the field by being quiet and kind and generous, and winning gold medals and donating his money to charity.

So, a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless (it's this one), and I thought it would be amusing to imagine an AIM conversation between Davis and Hedrick. Thus we have the following exchange, which I feel I must state is COMPLETELY FABRICATED. PursuitRawks is Hedrick's SN, while GoldInDa1000 is Davis.

Completely Fabricated.

PursuitRawks (9:57:04 AM): Hey shan

_______________________________________________________
Auto Response from GoldInDa1000 (9:57:04 AM): Sorry, I didn't see you there past my TWO OLYMPIC MEDALS! Well, I guess they have those holes, so, um, TWO OLYMPIC MEDALS, [expletive deleted]!
_______________________________________________________
GoldInDa1000 (9:58:12 AM): hey
PursuitRawks (9:59:28 AM): what's up
GoldInDa1000 (9:59:34 AM): n
PursuitRawks (10:00:15 AM): funny away message you got there
GoldInDa1000 (10:00:19 AM): ok
PursuitRawks (10:00:39 AM): I guess you forgot I got THREE baby
GoldInDa1000 (10:00:42 AM): yeah
PursuitRawks (10:10:52 AM): ne way
PursuitRawks (10:13:11 AM): did you get like a thing for your medals/
GoldInDa1000 (10:13:16 AM): huh?
PursuitRawks (10:13:26 AM): like a case or something
GoldInDa1000 (10:13:32 AM): oh
GoldInDa1000 (10:13:34 AM): no
PursuitRawks (10:20:27 AM): cuz you know, I thought maybe I'd get one made
PursuitRawks (10:20:49 AM): like it could look like a podium with the silver and bronze down below the gold
PursuitRawks (10:20:58 AM): but I guess you need to have three to do that
GoldInDa1000 (10:21:01 AM): ok
PursuitRawks (10:23:24 AM): so, yeah
PursuitRawks (10:25:44 AM): did you see Joey's myspace ?
GoldInDa1000 (10:25:49 AM): no
PursuitRawks (10:31:29 AM): you should go
PursuitRawks (10:31:46 AM): i heard that like he has no friends
GoldInDa1000 (10:31:54 AM): k
PursuitRawks (10:31:58 AM): here
PursuitRawks (10:34:46 AM): www.myspace.com/tarheelskate
PursuitRawks (10:41:13 AM): you should go there now
GoldInDa1000 (10:41:16 AM): ok
PursuitRawks (10:41:21 AM): are you there?
PursuitRawks (10:41:29 AM): doesn't his color scheme suck
PursuitRawks (10:42:09 AM): and where it has he's 6'3". As if.
PursuitRawks (10:42:27 AM): do you see that. its awesome
GoldInDa1000 (10:42:29 AM): no
PursuitRawks (10:42:41 AM): what, you like his colors?
GoldInDa1000 (10:42:44 AM): no
PursuitRawks (10:42:50 AM): are you on te page now?
GoldInDa1000 (10:42:52 AM): no
PursuitRawks went idle at 10:53:28 AM.
PursuitRawks returned at 10:53:32 AM.
PursuitRawks (10:53:47 AM): um ok
PursuitRawks (10:54:07 AM): are you therenow? you should go, this shit is funny.
GoldInDa1000 (10:54:13 AM): k
PursuitRawks (10:54:45 AM): I kinda want to get on his friends list.
PursuitRawks (10:54:59 AM): but it would be funnier if I didn't, because he has no friends
PursuitRawks (10:55:00 AM): get it
GoldInDa1000 (10:55:03 AM): yeah
PursuitRawks (10:58:40 AM): ok
PursuitRawks (10:58:51 AM): listen i gotta go
PursuitRawks (10:59:37 AM): i'm gonna go see about the medal thing
GoldInDa1000 (10:59:40 AM): ok
PursuitRawks (10:59:45 AM): you're not mad are you?
GoldInDa1000 (10:59:48 AM): huh
PursuitRawks (10:59:53 AM): about the medals thing
GoldInDa1000 (10:59:56 AM): no
PursuitRawks (11:00:06 AM): ok cya
GoldInDa1000 (11:00:09 AM): whatever
PursuitRawks went away at 11:00:27 AM.

Completely fabricated.